Blog Post

Working with Your Pastor

Daniel Carson • Feb 17, 2020

5 Ways to Better Work with Your Pastor

During much of my 25+ years of ministry, I have been the second man. The titles have been different, but they have fallen under that staff role. I have served as a youth pastor, family pastor, worship pastor, church growth minister, and associate pastor. I have also had the privilege of serving in the lead role as a church planter and pastor, but most of my time has been working with godly lead pastors. I often think about these men: Henry Horton, Brad Hoshaw, David Pickard, Ronnie Chesser, Ron Fields, Wade Allen, and Kirk Shelton. All of these men have added to my understanding of God’s work and been a real blessing to me. Not everyone has had a similar experience. Sometimes, working with your pastor can be one of the hardest things you do. Whether you serve in a full-time, part-time, bi-vocational, or volunteer role, it is vital that you strive for “success” in your working relationship. If there is tension, it will stand in the way of God’s blessing in your ministry setting. So, how do we put things in motion to be successful?

1. Understand your pastor’s position. Your lead pastor has been placed in his role for a purpose. He is God’s man on the scene. He is the under-shepherd following God’s leadership to feed, protect, and guide God’s people. He will stand before the Father and answer for how he pastored his flock. You may not like the decisions that he makes, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is the leader. If you are serving as a staff member, your primary role is to help fulfill the vision and mission of the church which is led by your pastor. It isn’t about your agenda. You don’t need to lead your areas of responsibility in a way that contradicts your lead pastor. It is better for you to step out of the way than to head down a road that will only hurt the church in the process. If we insist on charging down that path, it will only hurt our families and reputation. We must remember our place of service.

2. Pray for your pastor. Your pastor may be your best friend or he may be pretty far down on your list. Either way, you should be praying for him on a daily basis as he seeks to dive into God’s Word in preparation to preach and as he serves the body. Not only will prayer undergird his work, it will soften yours. If there is a struggle between the two of you, speaking to God about him will open your heart to understanding. In addition, you need to pray for your pastor as an example to your students and others in the body.

3. Communicate with your pastor. One of the best things that you can for your pastor is to keep him informed. It can be in the form of an email or weekly conversation, but either way, your pastor needs to know what is happening in your student ministry. You may have complete freedom in the direction of your activities, but never lead him in the dark. If he has to answer questions from the body, he needs to be able to have the answers. In addition to discussing the direction of the student ministry, you need to hear about the ways that the Holy Spirit is guiding him and the ministry of the church as a whole. Are your youth lessons and messages tying into the big message and direction of the church? Too often, we are off in our own worlds with our students. We need to be a part of the bigger picture that is the local church.

4. Connect with your pastor. Take your pastor to lunch or out for coffee. Try to find ways to connect with him. It is important that as a staff that you have a genuine relationship. You may not have much in common, but you can always work at building that connection.

5. Publicly support your pastor. As the staff member, you need to be your pastor’s biggest supporter. If the church is doing something to honor him, you should be the one out front saying, “He is so deserving of this! Let’s give!” You may not always feel like being that voice, but the church needs the unity that this represents. If it is a ministry direction, jump on board. Let others see your excitement and they will join in. Now, you may have to set your own wants and desires aside. That means taking on the humility that Jesus exemplified. Make much of your pastor.

Working with your pastor is not always easy, but if a staff member or volunteer is working well with the lead pastor, God can do some exciting things. Have you been intentional as you have worked with your pastor? Have you made an effort to honor him and follow his leadership? When we submit to the authorities in our lives and truly partner together for the Gospel, Jesus can bring about real success in our ministries.

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By Daniel Carson 30 Nov, 2020
Christmas is only a few weeks away and it is definitely going to look unusual this year. To accommodate issues surrounding COVID-19, concerts, Christmas parties, and other activities of the season will all be done differently or not at all. That is sad but it is where we find ourselves. So, what do we do? The Christmas season has always been a time to celebrate God’s great gift to us and to share that message of love with the world around us. As student ministry workers, this is especially difficult. We are used to playing crazy Christmas games and just really celebrating the joy of the season. It is important that we don’t let our disappointment wreck what can still be a very joyful time with new activities. We may have to be concerned about COVID-19 when planning activities for the season, but that shouldn’t stop us from celebrating and encouraging our students during this time. Here are there guidelines to follow as you work to provide socially distant, but meaningful experiences for your students. 1. Provide opportunities for family discipleship. The pandemic has reminded those of us in ministry that discipleship begins at home. Students have had to learn virtually off and on since March. The same can be said about their spiritual development. Many families have still not made that transition back to church due to pandemic concerns. There are at least two ways that you can encourage family discipleship in the home. First, provide content on social media that speaks to the entire family. Lead them through a Bible study that they can discuss throughout the week. Another idea is to provide a Christmas study/fun box for families to work through during the season. It can include any number of things that will benefit conversation and spiritual growth. You can have your students pick these up or enlist volunteers to deliver them to doorsteps. 2. Encourage the concept of serving others. Christmas is a fantastic time to show Christ’s love to those inside and outside of the church. One of the sixth graders at our church is currently making stocking hats to sell to support our Blessing Box (a small food pantry located on our campus). She has already embraced helping others, but some of your students may need some encouragement and ideas. They could be small things like sending Christmas cards to shut-ins or organizing a socially distant Christmas caroling event. Knowing your church and context, you will have a better idea of what will work in your community and impact your students. 3. Make the focus Christ. It is easy to get caught up in feel good things during the holidays. Hallmark Christmas movies, blankets, and warm apple cider aren’t bad, but they shouldn’t be the focus of our activities. We want to help our students share Jesus with their world. As we provide activities and meaningful experiences for our students, they should be about Jesus. If you are working with students, let me just say “Thank You!” 2020 continues to be a challenge. Just remember, if we continue to point our students to Jesus, we can be a source of joy and in their lives. They need that right now.
By Daniel Carson 20 Apr, 2020
This is an exceptionally weird time for all of us. We find ourselves struggling emotionally, financially, and perhaps, physically and spiritually. COVID-19 is definitely making its mark in our lives. One of things that we have been forced into is this idea of social distancing and self-quarantine. These concepts have left us feeling a need to do everything and an inability to do anything. During the first week of this new "normal," I personally felt like I was in a sprint from Monday morning until we aired our online service on Sunday morning. There was so much to do. However, after the initial surge of activity, things slowed down for us. Many of us in student ministry are experiencing something similar. We don’t have the ball games or concerts to go to. We can’t take the group to the bowling alley. We can’t meet together the way we have in the past. Ultimately, we have a little more time on our hands. What do we do with it? What should be our goals during this pandemic beyond surviving and ministering to the students in our lives. Let me suggest a few things that could pay dividends in the future. 1. Dream of what your student ministry could look like. So often, we get tied up in what is happening week to week. We must prepare our mid-week services. We must plan our next outings. We must visit our students and schools. In all of that activity, we lose sight of what could be. Take a few moments in the calm and think about what your student ministry could look like after the coronavirus has finished its reign of terror on our country and the world. 2. Dig into the Word. As student ministry workers, we can get consumed with the activity and prep work of our ministry. We can lose sight of God’s Word and our need to dig into it for ourselves. Spend some time studying for you, not for your next lesson, but for you. Pick a book of the Bible or seek out a good study to invest in. Make His Word the priority in your life and ministry. It is his letter to us. To paraphrase John Piper, God wrote a book. It is His thoughts and feelings written out for us. Check out the video “God Wrote a Book: Where Else Will We Run?” from Desiring God . 3. Determine that next step for your student ministry. Does your student ministry need to look different and step away from what you have always been doing? This could be a great time to make some changes. And specifically, what is that one change when society is able to interact again as it did before? What is the next step that you or your students need to make as you go forward as a ministry? 4. Dive into a good book. Readers are learners and learners are leaders. If you want to be effective in ministry, you need to be a life-long learner. You need to find good voices to speak into your life and then listen. The quiet moments at home or in a your office could be spent learning from someone. There are a number of good choices if you want to read about student ministry. In episodes 13-15 of the Student Ministry Matters podcast , I interview Samuel Bierig and Jared Bumpers of Midwestern Baptist Theological. Jared contributed to Sam’s book Fulfill Your Student Ministry which recently released from Rainer Publishing. I can’t recommend this book enough for student ministry workers. It is concise and useful as you seek to determine the direction and philosophy of your student ministry. 5. Develop deeper relationships with your students. If our students are stuck at home, we should be looking for ways to reach out to them as they search for things to do. I know that my students should be on their spring break this week. Technically, they are on spring break, but it definitely isn’t what they were hoping for. Text or message your students. Call them. Use Zoom or even snail-mail to build that relationship. Too often, we know a student as “Tommy who plays football and loves video games.” Let’s take this time to get to know who Tommy really is. What make him tick? What does he dream of doing and being? When all the externals get taken away, there is an opportunity for some real relationship building to occur, but you must be intentional. God can use the quiet moments of social distancing to build us into something better if we allow Him to do so. Breath and allow him to work in your life and ministry.
By Daniel Carson 06 Apr, 2020
It is clear that everyone is thinking about COVID-19. It has impacted sports, our universities, and now has impacted our public schools. It is important that we serve our students and their families in God-honoring ways during this time. They need to see hope and love come from us. How do we fight our own tendencies to become fearful and be light for our students? We must focus on three things. One, we must grow in our love of God. If we are seeking Him, we will understand that He is in control and will give us the peace that we need. Two, we must love the people that God has placed in our lives. When we think of others, it is easier to get past our own fears. Let’s be the Church and show people Jesus. Three, we must continue the work of making disciples. As we show others how to know God and trust in his unfailing presence, those thoughts and concepts will grow in our lives well. As we work with students, let’s give them hope in uncertain times. Here are just a few ways that we can do that. 1. Point your students to the unchanging, all-powerful God of the Bible. God’s Word is a great source of strength and courage in our lives. God shows again and again in His Word how He is in control. Remind your students by sending them texts and emails that include God’s Word. 2. Stay connected with your students. It is important during this time find a way to remain in contact with your students. Perhaps you can call, email, or text them on a regular basis. Ask how they are doing? Pray with them. Let them know that they are not alone. You could also plan a live video on Facebook or Instagram and have a virtual meeting if face to face is out. 3. Encourage students to limit their social media intake. While it may be hard to get your students to step away from social media and media in general, offer suggestions on how they can utilize their time away from a screen. Your posts may be encouraging to them, but the sheer volume of negative information coming their way is going to lead them to a dark place. Walks, puzzles, and books may all seem old fashioned, but they can be very centering as we struggle with the stress permeating our society right now. 4. Pray for your students. It is vital that we continue to lift up our students to the Lord. Pray that God will give them peace and help them as they struggle. During times like these, it is hard to know what to do even with our own family members. However, God has gifted us with students that are looking our direction for hope. Point them to Jesus and He will provide what they need.
By Daniel Carson 28 Jan, 2020
World Missions Sunday is just around the corner and it got me thinking. What I am doing to promote missions in my student ministry? What do I do to help encourage a mission mindset with my youth? The truth is, I’m not doing enough. When I went to Temple Baptist Church of Rogers back in 2007, I didn’t have to promote a missions mindset with my students. It was already there. When I arrived, there were at least 7 individuals preparing for missions trips during the summer of 2008. They were headed to Chicago, Africa, and Romania. There was a culture of investing in missions and especially sending students on mission trips. I didn’t have to be intentional in promoting missions. In fact, the next summer, we took a large group of adults and students to Fountain, Colorado to serve with a mission church there. As I have gone along in ministry, I have realized that was a unique time at the church. I have to work to encourage students to consider taking a part of their summer or other breaks from school and investing them in God’s work. I am convinced that every student should experience a mission trip of some sort before leaving our student ministries. It might be with an organization like Volunteer Student Missions (VSM), our youth groups, or with the entire church. However they do it, it is important for them to see that God is working in different places other than just their local church. So what do we do? How to we encourage our students to consider being involved in something bigger than themselves? We must make much of missions in our ministries. It can’t be something we just celebrate on World Missions Sunday. It should be something that we consider and look to all year long. 1. We need to teach on missions. The Bible should remain our primary focus as we teach our students. And, if we focus on God’s Word, we are going to be talking about missions before long. At the heart of the matter, God is a missionary God. He sent His Son for us. However, there are lots of other examples that we can point our students to other than just Matthew 28:18-20 and Acts 1:8. Let’s make them aware of a loving God who went out of His way to reach us. Let’s show them how Jesus sent out his disciples and Paul went on his missionary journeys. 2. We should provide opportunities for them to experience missions. One of the most readily available opportunities for our students is Volunteer Student Missions. It is a program led by our mission office and Angela Rice. This ministry gives students from big and small churches alike the chance to serve on a mission team. My son, Riley, has been a part of two teams to Romania and my daughter, Kat, has been on one trip to Peru. This summer, Kat will be a part of a team to a creative access country. I am so proud of my children and their desire to serve. If you have a student interested in missions, I would encourage you to reach out to Angela. She would love to have your student get involved for the summer of 2021. She can be contacted by email at angela@bmamissions.org or you can call the BMAA World Headquarters in Conway, Arkansas. In addition to VSM, your church or your youth group can plan their own mission trip. I know that there are many churches that take that route. The most important thing is to provide the opportunities. 3. We need to introduce our students to missionaries. One of the impactful things that ever happened to my daughter was meeting and being befriended by a dear lady that we all miss. She was a missionary to a creative access country and loved Jesus more than anything. She gave her life in service and declared His name to the nations. She is gone now, but her example and service still stand as a motivator to my daughter and to me as well. There are missionaries all around our world. When our missionaries are in the area, invite them to speak to your students. And, if you can’t get a missionary to your church, use technology to connect with them. There is no reason for our students to be oblivious to who our missionaries are. 4. We need to lead our students to pray for missions and missionaries. Prayer should be an important part of our ministries. After we have met and learned about missions/missionaries, we need to pray. Show your students how and then encourage them to be praying for great things. Making much of missions doesn’t have to be difficult. However, it must be intentional. We can’t expect it to just happen. We must take steps to promote missions in our student ministries and help our students fall in love with God’s work around the world.
By Daniel Carson 14 Jan, 2020
The first of the year is a great time to get things going in our ministries and lives. January serves as that transition point for many of us. We will try the gym, eating differently, or maybe giving something up. It is a great time to make some changes that will directly affect our student ministry. Last week, we talked about things that we might need to stop doing. This week, let’s look at a few things that we might need to start doing. 1. We need to start taking care of ourselves. It is hard to get anything out of an empty bucket. If we don’t take time to invest in personal Bible reading, prayer, and other self-care areas, we will not be able to pour into students’ lives. That means that we might have to step away from some things that we are doing. It might mean setting some things aside that we “love,” so that we can pursue something better. How are you doing in the areas of spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, and even financial health? We need to work on ourselves if we hope to help others. Take the time. You may fear that others will just see you as lazy and selfish, but we know that even Jesus took time to be alone and recharge. 2. We need to start making the Bible our curriculum. As I have mentioned before, it is easy to become very focused on the culture and give lessons on behavioral modification. God wants us to dive into His Word and help students understand it in greater detail. The Gospel Coalition (July 29, 2011 https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/why-youth-stay-in-church-when-they-grow-up/ ) cites three reasons that students stay in church 1) They are converted, 2) They are equipped, not entertained, and 3) Their parents preached the gospel to them. That second reason ties directly into our need to use God’s Word. We must equip students how to study and know God’s Word in a deeper way. That can only happen if we make God’s Word the center of our ministry. Currently, my little youth group is going through the book of Mark. Why? Our pastor is leading us through a study of Mark on Sunday mornings. Our Wednesday night youth study intentionally parallels our Sunday morning study so that our students will get it. God’s Word must be at the heart of our ministries. 3. We need to start praying for our students. You may be really good at sending your students encouraging texts or funny memes, but many of us fail to pray for our students on a consistent basis. It is important to stay in touch with your students throughout the week, but it is vital that we pray for them. Your group may be small enough to pray for them all every day. However, if your group has gotten big, you may need to figure out a specific plan. Also, if you have volunteers working with your students, encourage them to pray for the group as well. 4. We need to make church attendance a priority for our students. It is easy to feel like our student ministry is on our little kingdom. We have room full of students looking to us for answers each week. If we are not careful, we can separate ourselves from the church. The truth is though, if there is no church, there is no student ministry. Our ministry is simply part of something bigger and we can’t lose sight of that. Point your students to worship on Sunday. Let them know that Sunday’s gathering with the body is the priority and that youth group is the “extra.” Make sure that your words never put down what happens at your church on a Sunday. You might feel that your preach goes too long or that the music is a little less than what you want, but we need to keep those thoughts to ourselves as we speak to our students. Build up Sunday worship, never tear it down. What do you need to start doing in 2020? I know one thing that will help. Start connecting with us at Student Ministry Matters. We have just recently changed the name of our Facebook group from BMA of AR Youth Department to Student Ministry Matters Community . It is a private group that allows us to share and talk about things in our ministry. You can also find us on Facebook and Instagram at StudentMinistryMatters. Reach out. We want to connect with you and see what we can do to help you impact the next generation for Jesus Christ.
By Daniel Carson 09 Jan, 2020
On the September 24, 2019 episode of the WorshipLife Podcast with Mike Harland, Mike and his co-host, Brian Brown, shared about the evaluation period that Lifeway goes through each year. Each department is tasked with looking at their ministry and applying three questions. What should we start doing? What should we stop doing? What should we keep doing? Specifically, they evaluate these areas in light of budget restraints. If you only have “X” amount of dollars, you can only do so much. So, you have to make choices on where to invest those dollars. They continued with their podcast and applyed that “stop doing” list to music ministry. If you work with musical worship in your church, I would recommend tuning in to these guys. They bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to the conversation about worship ministry. Mike and Brian’s conversation made me start thinking. What should we stop doing in student ministry? Are there things that have trapped us? Are we investing in the wrong things? The truth is that we can often fall into traps in our student ministry. We may be well intentioned, but if we don’t stay focused on what God wants, we may be pulled into things and attitudes that will do us more harm than good. For us to be successful in student ministry, let’s stop doubt those things that are pulling us down. 1. Stop comparing your student ministry to the one down the street. I serve in Fayetteville, Arkansas. It is home to the University of Arkansas and is a part of a larger, growing community known as Northwest Arkansas. We have churches of every size in our area. Cross Church of Fayetteville had over 3000 people for their first service in their new facility that they built not even two miles from our church building. It would be easy for me to just throw my hands in the air and give up with a ministry the size and impact of Cross Church that close to us, but I have to remind myself that Cross Church isn’t going to reach everyone. There are going to be students that would never attend a larger church because that isn’t their personality. The bigger churches may have more resources and students, but they don’t have you and the relationships that you are forming with your students. 2. Stop neglecting the Word. It is easy to fall into the trap of preaching and teaching our students great lessons on the culture and changing their actions. If we want to have a long term impact in their lives, we must teach the powerful heart-transforming Gospel. We need to study it for ourselves. We must learn it, so that we can teach it. And, we must help our students embrace it for themselves. 3. Stop being event driven. I know that this statement may not be that popular. A “good” student ministry calendar is full of activity, right? Mission trips, church camps, SOAR, lock-Ins, Back to School Bashs, Youth Christmas Parties, and End of the Year Parties are just a few of the things that most of us feel are necessary to have a “good” student ministry. The problem is that we can have all sorts of events and activity and completely miss the mark on growing disciples. Should these type of things remain on our schedule? Probably. But, they don’t need to be at the center of our effort and energy. Our primary focus should be to bring glory to God by growing disciples. Our plans and efforts should focus on that goal. We don’t want to help students just have good memories of being teenagers. We want them to experience transformation that comes through God and His Word. 4. Stop being someone you aren’t. I learned a long time ago that I am not the coolest guy at the party. In fact, I am probably the least cool. I’m okay with that. I like nerdy things. (Just look in my office and you will see what I mean. The last youth guy had a picture of Spurgeon on his wall. I have Superman.) I was never one of the “popular” kids. If I try to appear to be something or someone that I am not, my students will see it a mile away. All they really want is for me to be authentic. They want to know that they are cared about by a genuine person. Brining about change in our lives starts by drawing some things to a close. We have to embrace the idea of stopping before we can really get started. Look for those things in your life and ministry that you need to bring to a close, so you can open up doors for the new and better things that God has for you.
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